The Lions are about to retake their rightful place, and they've earned every bit of it. That would be as a punch line, of course. Writers for people like Leno and Letterman are no doubt coming up with such one-liners as this is written.
Even the most optimistic Lions fans, at least those that have a few functioning neurons left, would likely admit their team has once again become a joke. Anyone possessing an ounce of objectivity, that has watched them of late, certainly could see they've gone from vastly overrated (last year, and into the beginning of this year), to mediocre, to bad, and now they appear to be little more than slapstick comedy. Turn on the TV cameras and send in the clowns. Even the announcers are at a loss to explain some of the things the Lions do. You name it, and the Lions will find a way to screw it up. It's reminiscent of the 3 Stooges or the Keystone Kops, but at least they were SUPPOSED to be funny. The Lions have taken it to another level. They're hilarious, at times.
Here's an example: Late in the game against the Atlanta Falcons, while trailing them by 15 points, after turning the ball over on downs at the Falcons 1 yard line, the Lions managed to tackle an Atlanta running back in his own end zone for a safety. 2 points for the Honolulu blue. Pursuant to a safety, the Falcons punter booms a whopping 76 yard kick that comes down at the Lions own 4 yard line. Remember, this was not a normal punt, where the "gunners" for the punting team were already racing down field before the ball was kicked. They had to start at their own 20, AFTER the ball was kicked. The Lions' punt receiver catches the ball at his own 4 yard line and, without a Falcon within 30 yards of him -- takes a knee. Even the best comedy writers couldn't make stuff like this up. Only the Lions. That ranks right up there with Moe, Larry, Cheese. Great stuff for slapstick, but not so great when it's supposed to be a professional football team.
Lions' head coach Jim Schwartz appeared to agree on the sidelines. If I read his lips correctly, the man said that was stupidest play he had ever seen. Well, guess who's been running the show for the last few years? If his players have turned into the Marx Brothers, shouldn't the ultimate responsibility fall on him?
Sure, after the Lions went 0-16 in 2008, the only way to go was up. Schwartz got 2 wins the following season. Then 6. Then 10. Now he's back to 4. It appears he's slip-sliding away on the down side of his bell curve. His team is not only getting defeated every week, they've become embarrassing.
Yet, leave it to the infinite wisdom of the Ford family, which owns the Lions, to sign Schwartz to a 3 year contract extension not long ago. How's that working out?
What was even more hilarious is back in April of this year, a poll taken amongst Lions' fans said many thought their team would go 15-1 this year. I know there's a Ford hospital in Detroit that has a very good reputation for patient care. Perhaps they should revamp that institution and turn it into a massive rehab clinic for Lions' fans (and local reporters) that continue to think their team is just oh...so...close to being a contender. That's like a junkie saying tomorrow will be better, as they're shooting up again. As an analogy, one might say -- Hey, the dope dealers don't care, and will continue to make big money off such fools, until they're willing to admit they have a problem, and take the hard steps necessary on the road to recovery.
On a related note, congrats to Calvin Johnson on breaking Jerry Rice's all-time single season record for passing yards gained by an NFL receiver. CJ still has one game to go, and might likely even top the 2000 yard mark. Very impressive stuff.
But that's good news and bad news -- for Calvin. He'll rightfully have his place in the record books. That's the good news, along with the fact that CJ recently signed a multi-year extension worth roughly $132 million, with about $60 million guaranteed. He's financially set for life in a big way.
The bad news is -- he's owned by the Detroit Lions until the year 2019. Right now, it appears as if Calvin is the only thing the Lions have going for them. Quarterback Matthew Stafford throws and throws and throws some more at Johnson, so of course he's going to rack up big time yardage. This is not to say Calvin isn't a premier receiver. He most certainly is. The Megatron was blessed with height, speed, and venus fly-trap type hands whenever a football is in his vicinity. He's tough too, having played through many games with a lingering leg injury, which doesn't allow him to even practice much.
But this can't continue. If the Lions don't develop other offensive options, like a running game, a tight end that can catch, and/or other reliable receivers to spread the ball around to, and continue to work Calvin Johnson like a dog -- there's no way he'll last until 2019. Hell, he might be lucky to make it through another year or two. Sure, Calvin has shown his brilliance by being able to cope with being double or triple teamed and still coming down with the ball, but those guys in the other uniforms keep hitting, and hitting, and hitting him some more. A team can't keep going to the same guy that much, especially when all the other teams know it's coming and will punish him for it. It will take its toll, maybe even next season, let alone 2019.
To boot, one is left to wonder whether the Lions and their supporters ever stopped to consider that all the other teams know Calvin Johnson is going to catch a lot of balls, and gain a bunch of yards, but they're OK with that --- because by the end of the game -- if that's all the Lions have to offer -- they know they will prevail. And at the end of the day, in the NFL, the only thing that matters is winning.
Look at what's happened this year. Calvin set a record, but the team around him, along with their coaching staff, have become a joke.
On the bright side, if the Lions finish out the string and get walloped yet again at home by Da Bears next week -- entirely possible, if not probable, given their current free fall, something good will become of it.
At least Leno, Letterman, Kimmel, Fallon, the Saturday Night Live folks, every other comedian on the planet, and maybe even the usual gang of idiots from MAD magazine will be happy. They just got new material to work with. Yes, it would be retro stuff, considering the Lions a few years ago, but I suspect they'll find a way to get a few laughs.
Like the Lions are doing now......
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
Suzy Favor Hamilton. Shameful
Olympic track and field buffs might remember Suzy Favor as the girl who collapsed about 200 meters short of the finish line, while leading the 1500 meter race at the Sydney Olympics back in 2000. She would eventually get up, finish last, and collapse again after crossing the finish line.
A sad story, right? Hardly. And it recently got much worse.
After being a standout runner in high school, and at the Univ of Wisconsin, where she had garnered many awards along the way, Suzy was not only an Olympian, but considered by many to be the best female middle distance runner in the world. The gold medals were there for the taking, and the sky was the limit.
Indeed, even though she crashed and burned at those Olympics, Suzy would become the beneficiary of much sympathy, and would go on to become a motivational speaker, cha-ching, not to mention receiving many endorsements, cha-ching part 2, along the way.
And it now appears it was all horribly wrong.
Suzy has since admitted that she "took a dive" in that race due to many reasons. Her body couldn't hold up for the 3 rounds (races) of competition required in that particular event to possibly win a medal. She had suffered from anxiety, depression, bouts of anorexia, and self-doubt. Well OK, but if she apparently knew all that at the time, then what was she doing out there on the biggest athletic stage in the world representing the US? Oh, right. The cha-ching factor.
Suzy married her college sweetheart, Mark Hamilton, about a week after she graduated from UW, and she was a pretty young lady with the blond haired midwestern wholesome looks that sponsors would drool over.
Fast forward. Suzy is now 44 years old and she and her husband Mark have a 7 year old daughter. They still reside in Madison, Wisc. and, by most accounts, continue to run a successful real estate brokerage firm. Further, they live in a $600,000 home. Not exactly Buckingham Palace, but not too shabby either, considering the current economy. Suzy has been quoted as saying financial concerns were never a problem.
So WHY, somebody tell me WHY, Suzy would do what she did starting in 2011? She has recently fessed up to being a $600 an hour "call girl" that worked for a Las Vegas "escort service". That's the politically correct way of stating it. Others might call it being an overpriced "hooker".
Are we to believe that (presumably) gentlemen desirous of such service(s) would shell out $600 an hour to have a 43 year old woman as "arm candy" only? What's truly astonishing is it appears Suzy's husband Mark knew of her recent "secret life" all along. Evidently, he was OK with it, because had it not recently been brought to light by investigative journalists, who knows what might still be going on -- or coming off?
Now they're in counselling. Oh boo hoo hoo. So what's to counsel? Even though they didn't need the money, as if that should matter, she went to work as a call girl in Vegas and he was OK with it. They don't need counselling. That poor little girl of theirs will likely be the one that needs counselling when she starts trying to comprehend and sort all this out in a few years. Can you imagine the taunts she may be subjected to when she gets to, say, junior high school, where kids have a history of being cruel in such ways?
Experiencing anxiety, panic attacks, depression, etc etc during the course of an Olympic competition is one thing. Eleven years later to do the "favors" Suzy did, is quite another, and there is no excuse for it.
It's shameful.
An added note. One of Suzy's sponsors was Disney. Given that company's long standing reputation, somehow yours truly thinks they will not approve either.
A sad story, right? Hardly. And it recently got much worse.
After being a standout runner in high school, and at the Univ of Wisconsin, where she had garnered many awards along the way, Suzy was not only an Olympian, but considered by many to be the best female middle distance runner in the world. The gold medals were there for the taking, and the sky was the limit.
Indeed, even though she crashed and burned at those Olympics, Suzy would become the beneficiary of much sympathy, and would go on to become a motivational speaker, cha-ching, not to mention receiving many endorsements, cha-ching part 2, along the way.
And it now appears it was all horribly wrong.
Suzy has since admitted that she "took a dive" in that race due to many reasons. Her body couldn't hold up for the 3 rounds (races) of competition required in that particular event to possibly win a medal. She had suffered from anxiety, depression, bouts of anorexia, and self-doubt. Well OK, but if she apparently knew all that at the time, then what was she doing out there on the biggest athletic stage in the world representing the US? Oh, right. The cha-ching factor.
Suzy married her college sweetheart, Mark Hamilton, about a week after she graduated from UW, and she was a pretty young lady with the blond haired midwestern wholesome looks that sponsors would drool over.
Fast forward. Suzy is now 44 years old and she and her husband Mark have a 7 year old daughter. They still reside in Madison, Wisc. and, by most accounts, continue to run a successful real estate brokerage firm. Further, they live in a $600,000 home. Not exactly Buckingham Palace, but not too shabby either, considering the current economy. Suzy has been quoted as saying financial concerns were never a problem.
So WHY, somebody tell me WHY, Suzy would do what she did starting in 2011? She has recently fessed up to being a $600 an hour "call girl" that worked for a Las Vegas "escort service". That's the politically correct way of stating it. Others might call it being an overpriced "hooker".
Are we to believe that (presumably) gentlemen desirous of such service(s) would shell out $600 an hour to have a 43 year old woman as "arm candy" only? What's truly astonishing is it appears Suzy's husband Mark knew of her recent "secret life" all along. Evidently, he was OK with it, because had it not recently been brought to light by investigative journalists, who knows what might still be going on -- or coming off?
Now they're in counselling. Oh boo hoo hoo. So what's to counsel? Even though they didn't need the money, as if that should matter, she went to work as a call girl in Vegas and he was OK with it. They don't need counselling. That poor little girl of theirs will likely be the one that needs counselling when she starts trying to comprehend and sort all this out in a few years. Can you imagine the taunts she may be subjected to when she gets to, say, junior high school, where kids have a history of being cruel in such ways?
Experiencing anxiety, panic attacks, depression, etc etc during the course of an Olympic competition is one thing. Eleven years later to do the "favors" Suzy did, is quite another, and there is no excuse for it.
It's shameful.
An added note. One of Suzy's sponsors was Disney. Given that company's long standing reputation, somehow yours truly thinks they will not approve either.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Seven Signs of the Apocalypse
There are those that say the world will end tomorrow. If they're right, then I'm going to try and get this last rant in under the wire.
Rivers and seas will turn to blood. There will be massive cyclones, famine, drought, locusts, raging infernos, earthquakes, and colossal icebergs the size of Chris Christie breaking off from the Antarctic shelf. A scary scenario indeed.
But sports fans, at least this one, look at things a little differently. How will we know when the end is truly near? When our own Seven Signs of the Apocalypse come about. In case you haven't brushed up on your sports scriptures lately -- here they are.....
1) Soccer fever overwhelms America, putting the NFL and college football out of business.
2) Kobe Bryant dishes out more assists over the course of a season than he takes shots.
3) Detroit Tigers' manager Jim Leyland chucks baseball, returns to his original true love, and becomes an internationally acclaimed operatic tenor.
4) Management and union representatives from all American professional sports enterprises come to agreements and sign binding contracts that last -- forever -- or at least until the end of the world.
5) The NFL holds it's own version of a beauty pageant and Ndamukong Suh is unanimously voted Mr. Congeniality by his fellow players.
6) Charles Barkley takes the PGA by storm and wins all 4 major tournaments.
And, of course.....
7) The Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl.
Rivers and seas will turn to blood. There will be massive cyclones, famine, drought, locusts, raging infernos, earthquakes, and colossal icebergs the size of Chris Christie breaking off from the Antarctic shelf. A scary scenario indeed.
But sports fans, at least this one, look at things a little differently. How will we know when the end is truly near? When our own Seven Signs of the Apocalypse come about. In case you haven't brushed up on your sports scriptures lately -- here they are.....
1) Soccer fever overwhelms America, putting the NFL and college football out of business.
2) Kobe Bryant dishes out more assists over the course of a season than he takes shots.
3) Detroit Tigers' manager Jim Leyland chucks baseball, returns to his original true love, and becomes an internationally acclaimed operatic tenor.
4) Management and union representatives from all American professional sports enterprises come to agreements and sign binding contracts that last -- forever -- or at least until the end of the world.
5) The NFL holds it's own version of a beauty pageant and Ndamukong Suh is unanimously voted Mr. Congeniality by his fellow players.
6) Charles Barkley takes the PGA by storm and wins all 4 major tournaments.
And, of course.....
7) The Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
The NFL's all-time best running back. (Single season)
YO ADRIAN!! Sorry, even though they were hokey and quite far-fetched, yours truly was always a sucker for Rocky movies. Besides, Talia Shire was a whole lot better looking than...
Adrian Peterson, currently the super-star running back for the Minnesota Vikings. #28 of the purple gang has an outside shot at breaking the all-time NFL single-season rushing record. He needs to run for an average of 157 yards per game, no small feat, over the last two regular season contests to claim the all-time single season championship. Will he do it? Probably not, because those last two games involve going to Houston, where the Texans can be brutal to visitors, and then coming back home to face the Green Bay Packers, never an easy task.
But he only needs 188 yards to break into the 2000 yard club. At 94 yards per game, that sounds much more doable.
So who was the greatest single-season running back in the history of the NFL? The answer may surpise, disappoint, and maybe even outrage you, but yours truly submits that stats don't lie, at least in this case.
Here's a list of the 2000 yard club, with the player, his team, how many total yards, what year, and how it averaged out in rushing yards per game............
1) Eric Dickerson. Los Angeles Rams. 2105 yards. 1984. Average per game -- 131.5.
2) Jamal Lewis. Baltimore Ravens. 2066 yards. 2003. APG --- 129.1.
3) Barry Sanders. Detroit Lions. 2053 yards. 1997. APG --- 128.3.
4) Terrell Davis. Denver Broncos. 2008 yards. 1998. APG --- 125.5.
5) Chris Johnson. Tennessee Titans. 2006 yards. 2009. APG --- 125.3.
Currently, Adrian Peterson has averaged 129.4 rushing yards per game over his first 14 games. Very impressive stuff indeed, especially considering he's coming off a knee injury last year that in days of yore likely would have been career-ending. What he'll accomplish against the Texans and Packers in the final two weeks is anybody's guess. Maybe he runs wild, or maybe he gets shut down. Either way, you can bet he'll be high on the attention list of those teams' defensive coordinators when they're coming up with a game plan.
Of course, there was a notable omission in the 2000 yard club listed above. That running back was not only the first to accomplish the feat, but yours truly would maintain he remains to this day far above all the rest.
He's now 65 years old and his name was/is Orenthal James (OJ) Simpson. Sure, over the last couple decades OJ hasn't exactly endeared himself to the public at large with how he is perceived for various reasons, but this is not the venue for such a debate. This is about what he once did as a football player. Here is his stat line....
OJ Simpson. Buffalo Bills. 2003 yards. 1973. APG --- 143.1.
I emphasize that last stat for it's significance. From #1 Dickerson, to #5 Johnson, there's about a 6 yard difference per game. OJ was a whopping 12 yards per game ahead of even Dickerson. Like Tiger Woods stood head and shoulders above the field during his heyday several years ago, so too did OJ in 1973 and, for that matter, to this day.
How can that be? Because OJ did it when the NFL still only had a 14 game regular season. The NFL didn't go to the 16 game format until 1978.
Averaging 143 yards per game through the first 14, OJ would have merely needed to average 52 yards per game over another two that he didn't get to play to be the all-time record holder. Few would doubt he would have easily accomplished that and likely much more.
So the next time you hear about the all-time NFL single-season rushing leader, whether Peterson eclipses Dickerson's record this year, or even becomes a member of the 2000 yard club, or not, remember one thing....
He may still be currently #6 on that list, and maybe even #1 on the hate list of some people, but once upon a time, OJ was simply the best for a year running the football -- by a wide margin.
It's really not even a close call.
Adrian Peterson, currently the super-star running back for the Minnesota Vikings. #28 of the purple gang has an outside shot at breaking the all-time NFL single-season rushing record. He needs to run for an average of 157 yards per game, no small feat, over the last two regular season contests to claim the all-time single season championship. Will he do it? Probably not, because those last two games involve going to Houston, where the Texans can be brutal to visitors, and then coming back home to face the Green Bay Packers, never an easy task.
But he only needs 188 yards to break into the 2000 yard club. At 94 yards per game, that sounds much more doable.
So who was the greatest single-season running back in the history of the NFL? The answer may surpise, disappoint, and maybe even outrage you, but yours truly submits that stats don't lie, at least in this case.
Here's a list of the 2000 yard club, with the player, his team, how many total yards, what year, and how it averaged out in rushing yards per game............
1) Eric Dickerson. Los Angeles Rams. 2105 yards. 1984. Average per game -- 131.5.
2) Jamal Lewis. Baltimore Ravens. 2066 yards. 2003. APG --- 129.1.
3) Barry Sanders. Detroit Lions. 2053 yards. 1997. APG --- 128.3.
4) Terrell Davis. Denver Broncos. 2008 yards. 1998. APG --- 125.5.
5) Chris Johnson. Tennessee Titans. 2006 yards. 2009. APG --- 125.3.
Currently, Adrian Peterson has averaged 129.4 rushing yards per game over his first 14 games. Very impressive stuff indeed, especially considering he's coming off a knee injury last year that in days of yore likely would have been career-ending. What he'll accomplish against the Texans and Packers in the final two weeks is anybody's guess. Maybe he runs wild, or maybe he gets shut down. Either way, you can bet he'll be high on the attention list of those teams' defensive coordinators when they're coming up with a game plan.
Of course, there was a notable omission in the 2000 yard club listed above. That running back was not only the first to accomplish the feat, but yours truly would maintain he remains to this day far above all the rest.
He's now 65 years old and his name was/is Orenthal James (OJ) Simpson. Sure, over the last couple decades OJ hasn't exactly endeared himself to the public at large with how he is perceived for various reasons, but this is not the venue for such a debate. This is about what he once did as a football player. Here is his stat line....
OJ Simpson. Buffalo Bills. 2003 yards. 1973. APG --- 143.1.
I emphasize that last stat for it's significance. From #1 Dickerson, to #5 Johnson, there's about a 6 yard difference per game. OJ was a whopping 12 yards per game ahead of even Dickerson. Like Tiger Woods stood head and shoulders above the field during his heyday several years ago, so too did OJ in 1973 and, for that matter, to this day.
How can that be? Because OJ did it when the NFL still only had a 14 game regular season. The NFL didn't go to the 16 game format until 1978.
Averaging 143 yards per game through the first 14, OJ would have merely needed to average 52 yards per game over another two that he didn't get to play to be the all-time record holder. Few would doubt he would have easily accomplished that and likely much more.
So the next time you hear about the all-time NFL single-season rushing leader, whether Peterson eclipses Dickerson's record this year, or even becomes a member of the 2000 yard club, or not, remember one thing....
He may still be currently #6 on that list, and maybe even #1 on the hate list of some people, but once upon a time, OJ was simply the best for a year running the football -- by a wide margin.
It's really not even a close call.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Dumb commercials
If you thought the Jets/Titans game was bad, you should have checked out the Lions/Cardinals -- or was it the other way around? Beats me, but the Titans already beat the Lions this year, the Cardinals scorched them by 4 touchdowns, and even though the Jets appear to be completely clueless, it's probably lucky for the Lions they don't have to play them this year. By the way, all 3 of those teams have better records than the Lions. While the Lions' local media recently referred to the Cardinals as "hapless" -- perhaps they fail to realize that is exactly the same word scribes in other NFL towns use to describe their beloved puddy- tats. The Lions local kool-aiders can diagnose and analyze it all they want with columns and sound bytes but, in the end, Jed Clampett of the Beverly Hillbillies could have summed up their team in just one word. Piiit-eee-ful.
And now a word from our sponsors. Geico has featured the always loveable Gallagher with his Sledge-o-matic doing his watermelon thing at a farmer's market. Also, a slinky on an escalator. Two pitchmen say it's almost as much fun saving money by switching to Geico as Gallagher and the slinky have in the commercials. Cute, but yours truly has a few questions about that. I've looked high and low for a Geico office and can't seem to find one. So if I sign on with those folks to save a few bucks on insurance premiums, then an accident happens and I wish to make a claim -- who do I call? Gallagher? A slinky?
Big time congrats to Syracuse mens' basketball coach Jim Boeheim on winning his 900th career game. That particular milestone was set against the Univ of Detroit, with Dave Bing, the former Syracuse and Detroit Piston great, and current mayor of Detroit on hand. Boeheim will easily surpass Bobby Knight's 902 career victories, but he remains about 36 behind Duke coach Mike Krzyewski who is still rolling along with a premier program himself and given no signs of retiring. Coach K of Duke is 2 years younger than Coach B of Syracuse. Boeheim could conceivably win 1000 games, but he might still wind up in second place. Then again, there was some irony in Dave Bing being on hand. While Boeheim is attempting to overhaul the record books and chasing Coach K, Bing is trying to overhaul his city, while trying to chase away the state from moving in and making him obsolete. I like Boeheim's chances better.
Another commercial break. Have you noticed who's been sponsoring nationally televised games and sports talk shows lately? It's mostly either Toyota, Nissan, or Hyundai. This costs big bucks. Could it be because our Japanese and South Korean friends wish to show their continued appreciation over the US still providing them with the protection of our armed forces at the cost of billions, even though those particular conflicts have been over for 67 and 59 years, respectively? Or could they possibly have another motive? Like preying on gullible Americans that are all too willing to sell out their fellow Americans to save a few bucks? Well, gee.That's a tough one.
Just a little while ago during the Jets/Titans game I found out something new. Santa Claus is now rolling Mercedes' off his North Pole assembly line. That's amazing. Near as I can tell, the people that will get these "presents" must have REALLY big chimneys. Silly me, I'd have a very merry Christmas indeed if I found the car keys to a 2-year old Chevy in my stocking.
Uh oh. Geico's back. There's a dude on a motorcycle riding down the rode covered in money. It's blowing off every which way. People don't know what to make of it. Tell ya what. Obviously, that commercial wasn't shot in certain neighborhoods of Detroit. Had it been, not only would the motorcycle have been gone, but that poor devil might have found himself skinned and slowly rotating over a barbecue pit to see if any more money fell out. Who's kidding who here? Good luck putting in a claim with THAT guy.
Ah, at long last, finally a GM commercial. They were advertising a heavy-duty truck while showing it slogging through mounds of snow. Up and down it went. From airborne to bottoming out. THUD, but it kept right on going. Their theme was the "nutcracker". And that is EXACTLY what might happen to a guy driving that thing when it went thud. No thanks. I've had my cajones busted enough during the course of my lifetime for various reasons, so why, pray tell, would I want to do that? But many might rush right out and buy it.
And somewhere in boardrooms spanning Japan and South Korea, billionaires likely chuckled when they saw it. Stupid Americans. One can only imagine the guffaws if they've been monitoring Lions' fans.
And now a word from our sponsors. Geico has featured the always loveable Gallagher with his Sledge-o-matic doing his watermelon thing at a farmer's market. Also, a slinky on an escalator. Two pitchmen say it's almost as much fun saving money by switching to Geico as Gallagher and the slinky have in the commercials. Cute, but yours truly has a few questions about that. I've looked high and low for a Geico office and can't seem to find one. So if I sign on with those folks to save a few bucks on insurance premiums, then an accident happens and I wish to make a claim -- who do I call? Gallagher? A slinky?
Big time congrats to Syracuse mens' basketball coach Jim Boeheim on winning his 900th career game. That particular milestone was set against the Univ of Detroit, with Dave Bing, the former Syracuse and Detroit Piston great, and current mayor of Detroit on hand. Boeheim will easily surpass Bobby Knight's 902 career victories, but he remains about 36 behind Duke coach Mike Krzyewski who is still rolling along with a premier program himself and given no signs of retiring. Coach K of Duke is 2 years younger than Coach B of Syracuse. Boeheim could conceivably win 1000 games, but he might still wind up in second place. Then again, there was some irony in Dave Bing being on hand. While Boeheim is attempting to overhaul the record books and chasing Coach K, Bing is trying to overhaul his city, while trying to chase away the state from moving in and making him obsolete. I like Boeheim's chances better.
Another commercial break. Have you noticed who's been sponsoring nationally televised games and sports talk shows lately? It's mostly either Toyota, Nissan, or Hyundai. This costs big bucks. Could it be because our Japanese and South Korean friends wish to show their continued appreciation over the US still providing them with the protection of our armed forces at the cost of billions, even though those particular conflicts have been over for 67 and 59 years, respectively? Or could they possibly have another motive? Like preying on gullible Americans that are all too willing to sell out their fellow Americans to save a few bucks? Well, gee.That's a tough one.
Just a little while ago during the Jets/Titans game I found out something new. Santa Claus is now rolling Mercedes' off his North Pole assembly line. That's amazing. Near as I can tell, the people that will get these "presents" must have REALLY big chimneys. Silly me, I'd have a very merry Christmas indeed if I found the car keys to a 2-year old Chevy in my stocking.
Uh oh. Geico's back. There's a dude on a motorcycle riding down the rode covered in money. It's blowing off every which way. People don't know what to make of it. Tell ya what. Obviously, that commercial wasn't shot in certain neighborhoods of Detroit. Had it been, not only would the motorcycle have been gone, but that poor devil might have found himself skinned and slowly rotating over a barbecue pit to see if any more money fell out. Who's kidding who here? Good luck putting in a claim with THAT guy.
Ah, at long last, finally a GM commercial. They were advertising a heavy-duty truck while showing it slogging through mounds of snow. Up and down it went. From airborne to bottoming out. THUD, but it kept right on going. Their theme was the "nutcracker". And that is EXACTLY what might happen to a guy driving that thing when it went thud. No thanks. I've had my cajones busted enough during the course of my lifetime for various reasons, so why, pray tell, would I want to do that? But many might rush right out and buy it.
And somewhere in boardrooms spanning Japan and South Korea, billionaires likely chuckled when they saw it. Stupid Americans. One can only imagine the guffaws if they've been monitoring Lions' fans.
The Detroit Lions and Shakespeare
As the three witches chimed together during the first scene of Macbeth --
"Fair is foul and foul is fair
Hover through the fog and filthy air."
Things didn't turn out so hot for Macbeth in the end.
Everybody knows who William (the Bard of Avon) Shakespeare was. Including Macbeth, he wrote 37 entire plays, a bunch of sonnets and other stuff, and his works not only remain famous to this day, almost 400 years after he died in 1616, they're required reading in many courses of study.
For all his brilliance, yours truly would offer up the notion that William Shakespeare somehow had the Detroit Lions in mind when he was penning his works.
After all, he wrote both tragedies and comedies. There have been times when the Lions fit both categories.
In the tragedy department, Julius Caesar could easily be compared to Lions' owner William Clay Ford. They both had wealth and power beyond the imagination of most common people, but didn't have a clue what was really going on right under their uppity noses. King Lear? Try Matt Millen.
The comedies (farces) should be obvious when it comes to the Lions. Name a fan or a year they've been rooting for that team and I'll give you "Love's Labour's Lost" when the season is over.
Yet they will always be back the following year. How do they get the ridiculous notion that an historical "A Comedy of Errors" will magically transform itself into a contender when the curtain goes up for the next performance? There can only be one explanation. It came to them in "A Midsummer Night's Dream". Personally, I think maybe they need a fan in their bedrooms to keep the air moving around during the dog days of summer, because this goes beyond night sweats -- these people are getting delirious. Next thing you know, they'll think Romeo and Juliet honeymooned in Vegas, hit the lotto, and are still living happily ever after in a mansion in the Hamptons on Long Island. Too much heat and hype can do that to people. But that's just my opinion.
Last year the Lions went 10-6 and, FINALLY, screamed the Honolulu blue and silver junkies, it will be glorious next year. A really good "fix" is on the way. As it turned out, look at the Lions this year. Who would dispute last season was "Much Ado About Nothing"?
Shakespeare only lived to be 52. The body of work he churned out over his liftime is incredible. Yet there's a certain cruel irony that comes into play. It's been right around 52 years since the Lions were competitive. Over the course of all that time they've written a lot of tragedies and, of course, comedies as well.
Their latest farce was just getting blown out to the tune of 4 touchdowns worth, by the Arizona Cardinals, who themselves were stampeded 58-0 last week. How bad is THAT?
What's truly hilarious is seeing others maintain that the Lions are "disappointing" this season. Though there are laws against such things nowadays, back in Shakespeare's time, one could have justifiably taken such a nincompoop by the shoulders, shook them until their eyes bugged out, and screamed in their faces -- "What strange kingdom dost thy come from that breeds such fools? The Lions have been disappointing EVERY season for over 50 years. Hast thee been blinder than Sophocles' Oedipus to the obvious? Hello? Anybody home between your ears? ". Then bitch-slap them a couple times for good measure just because they had it coming for continuing to spout stupidity -- but that's not allowed these days. Alas, we must suffer the fools. Tis a pity.
Which brings me back to the witches. "Fair is foul and foul is fair" somehow reminds yours truly of a guy named Ndamukong Suh, and "hover through the fog and filthy air" would seem to be appropriate for the Lions' entire Super-Bowl era team history.
Once upon a time, I took a course in college that required me to read all 37 Shakespeare plays. That was a whole lot of reading on top of the other courses I was taking. I didn't understand some of it then, and I've forgotten a great deal since, but Shakespeare's works live on, as well they should.
Perhaps someday, 400 years from now, the Lions' body of work will still be required reading.
It should be as well. "How NOT to run a professional sports franchise -- volumes one through ongoing".
"Fair is foul and foul is fair
Hover through the fog and filthy air."
Things didn't turn out so hot for Macbeth in the end.
Everybody knows who William (the Bard of Avon) Shakespeare was. Including Macbeth, he wrote 37 entire plays, a bunch of sonnets and other stuff, and his works not only remain famous to this day, almost 400 years after he died in 1616, they're required reading in many courses of study.
For all his brilliance, yours truly would offer up the notion that William Shakespeare somehow had the Detroit Lions in mind when he was penning his works.
After all, he wrote both tragedies and comedies. There have been times when the Lions fit both categories.
In the tragedy department, Julius Caesar could easily be compared to Lions' owner William Clay Ford. They both had wealth and power beyond the imagination of most common people, but didn't have a clue what was really going on right under their uppity noses. King Lear? Try Matt Millen.
The comedies (farces) should be obvious when it comes to the Lions. Name a fan or a year they've been rooting for that team and I'll give you "Love's Labour's Lost" when the season is over.
Yet they will always be back the following year. How do they get the ridiculous notion that an historical "A Comedy of Errors" will magically transform itself into a contender when the curtain goes up for the next performance? There can only be one explanation. It came to them in "A Midsummer Night's Dream". Personally, I think maybe they need a fan in their bedrooms to keep the air moving around during the dog days of summer, because this goes beyond night sweats -- these people are getting delirious. Next thing you know, they'll think Romeo and Juliet honeymooned in Vegas, hit the lotto, and are still living happily ever after in a mansion in the Hamptons on Long Island. Too much heat and hype can do that to people. But that's just my opinion.
Last year the Lions went 10-6 and, FINALLY, screamed the Honolulu blue and silver junkies, it will be glorious next year. A really good "fix" is on the way. As it turned out, look at the Lions this year. Who would dispute last season was "Much Ado About Nothing"?
Shakespeare only lived to be 52. The body of work he churned out over his liftime is incredible. Yet there's a certain cruel irony that comes into play. It's been right around 52 years since the Lions were competitive. Over the course of all that time they've written a lot of tragedies and, of course, comedies as well.
Their latest farce was just getting blown out to the tune of 4 touchdowns worth, by the Arizona Cardinals, who themselves were stampeded 58-0 last week. How bad is THAT?
What's truly hilarious is seeing others maintain that the Lions are "disappointing" this season. Though there are laws against such things nowadays, back in Shakespeare's time, one could have justifiably taken such a nincompoop by the shoulders, shook them until their eyes bugged out, and screamed in their faces -- "What strange kingdom dost thy come from that breeds such fools? The Lions have been disappointing EVERY season for over 50 years. Hast thee been blinder than Sophocles' Oedipus to the obvious? Hello? Anybody home between your ears? ". Then bitch-slap them a couple times for good measure just because they had it coming for continuing to spout stupidity -- but that's not allowed these days. Alas, we must suffer the fools. Tis a pity.
Which brings me back to the witches. "Fair is foul and foul is fair" somehow reminds yours truly of a guy named Ndamukong Suh, and "hover through the fog and filthy air" would seem to be appropriate for the Lions' entire Super-Bowl era team history.
Once upon a time, I took a course in college that required me to read all 37 Shakespeare plays. That was a whole lot of reading on top of the other courses I was taking. I didn't understand some of it then, and I've forgotten a great deal since, but Shakespeare's works live on, as well they should.
Perhaps someday, 400 years from now, the Lions' body of work will still be required reading.
It should be as well. "How NOT to run a professional sports franchise -- volumes one through ongoing".
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Patrick Peterson vs Calvin Johnson
Patrick Peterson, of the Arizona Cardinals, says he's he best cornerback in the NFL. Is he? Maybe, maybe not, but he's certainly amongst the top 3 or 4.
Calvin Johnson, a wide receiver of the Detroit Lions, doesn't mouth off much and/or claim to be the best at his position, but it's generally accepted CJ is also amongst the top 3 or 4 in the league.
No matter who may be rooting for who, it could fairly be said both these guys are REALLY good at what they do. And now they will get to go up against each other when the Lions play at Arizona on Sunday. Maybe.
PP has stated he's been looking forward to going up against CJ one-on-one since he saw the schedule come out. Of course the hypesters (media) have tried to fan the flames by insinuating Peterson called Johnson out. Actually, he did no such thing. Peterson merely stated he has looked forward to going up against one of the best. Well, good grief, what is the man supposed to say? He's been dreading this day and quivering with fear over the prospect of facing a vastly superior athlete? Gimme a break.
Peterson's doing exactly the right thing. If he's one of the best, then he should want to test himself against one of the best. It appears Peterson would like to be "out on an island" all alone against Johnson -- and let's see what happens. That goes back to the "maybe" mentioned above. The defensive coordinator of the Cardinals will make those calls. Every NFL defense features different "looks" and/or coverages at times trying to keep the opposing offense, especially the QB, off-balance. It's a never-ending guessing game, both ways, and whoever adapts the quickest, and executes the best, will normally come out on top.
Yet chances are pretty good PP will get his wish on at least several plays to go mano e mano with CJ. Can he handle him?
The advantages are always with the receiver. They know where their route will take them, as does their QB, and as the defensive back reacts, the ball is already in the air. Few would doubt the receivers are given much more latitude as to "incidental contact" than the DBs, without drawing a penalty flag. To boot, the Megatron always has a serious height, weight, and reach advantage over the opposing DB.
Premier cornerbacks, such as Peterson, have to rely on cat-quick reflexes and proper technique.
And being really fast doesn't hurt. Peterson ran a 4.34 forty yard dash in the NFL combine a year and a half ago, despite being the biggest cornerback there at about 6', 220 pounds, before the Cardinals made him the fifth overall selection in the 2011 draft. A cornerback being picked that high speaks for itself. If the Lions' brain trust, and I use those words lossly, oops loosely, thinks Calvin Johnson will just blow by Peterson on deep routes -- they would be mistaken. PP is every bit as fast as CJ, if not faster.
Sure. the Cardinals came out of the gate 4-0 this year, and have lost all 9 games since. Then again, while so many (suckah!) Lions' fans thought they would improve on last year's 10-6 record, they currently find themselves 4-9 as well, having not won a game since before the Presidential election.
The Detroit/Arizona game means little in the whole scheme of the NFL this year, but here's hoping two of the best, Patrick Peterson and Calvin Johnson, indeed get a chance to duel it out.
Maybe Calvin lights Patrick up for a couple hundred yards and 2-3 touchdowns. He's done it to others. Or maybe PP shuts down the Megatron singlehandedly. On 10/22/12, at Soldier Field in Chicago, a Bears' cornerback named Charles Tillman limited Calvin Johnson to 3 catches for a grand total of 34 yards, while largely playing him "head-up". It can also be done.
My prediction? The Lions should win the game, and of course Johnson's going to catch some balls. QB Matthew Stafford will keep throwing and throwing and throwing at him no matter what. That's been the Lions' modus operandi all year. But don't be surprised if Peterson, knowing that, comes up with a couple plays to make the highlight reels himself. A "pick 6" or punt return for a TD certainly aren't out of the realm of possibility. It's the Lions, remember? Anything's possible, except maybe the Lombardi trophy.
Regardless, PP vs CJ would be interesting to watch. Alas, yours truly won't be able to. Being the fan of all games I am, that pesky NFL schedule comes into play. At the same time the Lions and Cardinals are going at it, there's a few other games going on. Let's see. Seattle/Buffalo in Toronto. What the hell are they doing in Toronto? Forget that. Kansas City @ Oakland. Two bottom feeders. Blecch. But wait a minute, the Steelers are playing The Boys down in Big D. That's pretty much a win or kiss the playoffs good-bye game. Unlike Detroit/Arizona -- it matters.
Sorry Patrick and Calvin. Here's wishing you both well, but both your teams started swirling in the porcelain receptacle a few weeks back, so I'll have to catch your personal exploits on the 4-letter network's highlights later on.
A fan has to have his priorities.
Calvin Johnson, a wide receiver of the Detroit Lions, doesn't mouth off much and/or claim to be the best at his position, but it's generally accepted CJ is also amongst the top 3 or 4 in the league.
No matter who may be rooting for who, it could fairly be said both these guys are REALLY good at what they do. And now they will get to go up against each other when the Lions play at Arizona on Sunday. Maybe.
PP has stated he's been looking forward to going up against CJ one-on-one since he saw the schedule come out. Of course the hypesters (media) have tried to fan the flames by insinuating Peterson called Johnson out. Actually, he did no such thing. Peterson merely stated he has looked forward to going up against one of the best. Well, good grief, what is the man supposed to say? He's been dreading this day and quivering with fear over the prospect of facing a vastly superior athlete? Gimme a break.
Peterson's doing exactly the right thing. If he's one of the best, then he should want to test himself against one of the best. It appears Peterson would like to be "out on an island" all alone against Johnson -- and let's see what happens. That goes back to the "maybe" mentioned above. The defensive coordinator of the Cardinals will make those calls. Every NFL defense features different "looks" and/or coverages at times trying to keep the opposing offense, especially the QB, off-balance. It's a never-ending guessing game, both ways, and whoever adapts the quickest, and executes the best, will normally come out on top.
Yet chances are pretty good PP will get his wish on at least several plays to go mano e mano with CJ. Can he handle him?
The advantages are always with the receiver. They know where their route will take them, as does their QB, and as the defensive back reacts, the ball is already in the air. Few would doubt the receivers are given much more latitude as to "incidental contact" than the DBs, without drawing a penalty flag. To boot, the Megatron always has a serious height, weight, and reach advantage over the opposing DB.
Premier cornerbacks, such as Peterson, have to rely on cat-quick reflexes and proper technique.
And being really fast doesn't hurt. Peterson ran a 4.34 forty yard dash in the NFL combine a year and a half ago, despite being the biggest cornerback there at about 6', 220 pounds, before the Cardinals made him the fifth overall selection in the 2011 draft. A cornerback being picked that high speaks for itself. If the Lions' brain trust, and I use those words lossly, oops loosely, thinks Calvin Johnson will just blow by Peterson on deep routes -- they would be mistaken. PP is every bit as fast as CJ, if not faster.
Sure. the Cardinals came out of the gate 4-0 this year, and have lost all 9 games since. Then again, while so many (suckah!) Lions' fans thought they would improve on last year's 10-6 record, they currently find themselves 4-9 as well, having not won a game since before the Presidential election.
The Detroit/Arizona game means little in the whole scheme of the NFL this year, but here's hoping two of the best, Patrick Peterson and Calvin Johnson, indeed get a chance to duel it out.
Maybe Calvin lights Patrick up for a couple hundred yards and 2-3 touchdowns. He's done it to others. Or maybe PP shuts down the Megatron singlehandedly. On 10/22/12, at Soldier Field in Chicago, a Bears' cornerback named Charles Tillman limited Calvin Johnson to 3 catches for a grand total of 34 yards, while largely playing him "head-up". It can also be done.
My prediction? The Lions should win the game, and of course Johnson's going to catch some balls. QB Matthew Stafford will keep throwing and throwing and throwing at him no matter what. That's been the Lions' modus operandi all year. But don't be surprised if Peterson, knowing that, comes up with a couple plays to make the highlight reels himself. A "pick 6" or punt return for a TD certainly aren't out of the realm of possibility. It's the Lions, remember? Anything's possible, except maybe the Lombardi trophy.
Regardless, PP vs CJ would be interesting to watch. Alas, yours truly won't be able to. Being the fan of all games I am, that pesky NFL schedule comes into play. At the same time the Lions and Cardinals are going at it, there's a few other games going on. Let's see. Seattle/Buffalo in Toronto. What the hell are they doing in Toronto? Forget that. Kansas City @ Oakland. Two bottom feeders. Blecch. But wait a minute, the Steelers are playing The Boys down in Big D. That's pretty much a win or kiss the playoffs good-bye game. Unlike Detroit/Arizona -- it matters.
Sorry Patrick and Calvin. Here's wishing you both well, but both your teams started swirling in the porcelain receptacle a few weeks back, so I'll have to catch your personal exploits on the 4-letter network's highlights later on.
A fan has to have his priorities.
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